Sunday, November 30, 2008

SKYPE chat

                       Andrew Kolb

For those who wonder where i may be,
Merely mouse clicks away is where you'll find me.
For those curious about a Peace Corps volunteer,
Chat me up for some holiday cheer.

I call home a place called Jamaica,
Where work is plenty, but each day is a gala.
I'm trying my best to keep up with the hype,
So chat me up on this thing called Skype.


My Skype user name is:  nmziandrew




gobble gobble turkey day in Negril, Jamaica

Last Thanksgiving I was in Madrid, New Mexico with my brother, his wife, returned Peace Corps volunteers, and the local Madroids doing the drunken shovel rodeo over the campfire(nobody got hurt!) while the snow fell. I never would have guessed a year later I would be in Negril, Jamaica with 20 of the most inspiring, diverse, and amazing people I have encountered in my 30 years on this Earth. 

This particular weekend was initiated by a scary and most unexpected event, which luckily didn't curse the whole weekend. My good buddy Tom and I moseyed on down to the fisherman's wharf to see Reagan for a fresh ackee and saltfish breakfast. As we walked into this danky old shack, we greeted a gentleman quietly sitting on a bench. Upon ordering, we turn around and notice the man going into a serious seizure. He falls to the ground and Tom and I look at each other and ask Reagan if we should call the medics (even though Tom is one himself). Reagan insists that we leave him be as he does this often apparently. He informs us that when he comes to he cusses out anyone who touches him. We are both a little shocked, give each other a bizarre look, and decide to take our breakfast to go

2.5 hours later after "smalling up" in two taxis, one bus, and being called derogatory names in Montego Bay, we arrive in beautiful Negril. Ryan is there waiting, so we swiftly change into trunks and get over to the cliffs for some jumping and refreshing cool Caribbean water. I puss out on the backflip a couple times, and eventually we walk back to the Cleary's place. Next we follow some vague directions to where a local man lives who is constructing a new "house" or big room if you will. We volunteered to help him out. I spend the next 2 hours rolling gigantic limestone rocks from the woods to the foundation of the new unfinished shelter. Finally we take a long walk back into town, and on to The Canoe where we meet up with the rest of the bunch. We enjoy great food, 100$ Red Stripes($1.31 USD....I am currently on the wagon), and good conversation as we catch up with volunteers we haven't seen in awhile. 

I camped under the stars without the rainfly, and fell asleep to some relaxing music on my iShuffle. Saturday morning I walked a good mile or more to Burger King of all places. I know what you're thinking, but they serve Jamaica's famous Blue Mountain coffee and I had been craving a cup for some time. I sat there for a few hours reading a great book called Cadillac Desert. The remainder of this lazy day was spent cliff jumping again, and prepping for our gigantic Thanksgiving dinner. The Cleary's tracked down a turkey for about 45 US dollars! The feast was preceded by all 20 of us each taking a turn to share a few of the many things we are thankful for this year, and of course, a champagne toast. The food was amazing, and the moment couldn't have been any more perfect. As you may have predicted, the tryptophan and all the other food put everyone into a turkey-like coma. Before dark, we caught our second wind and walked down the street to famous Rick's Cafe on the cliffs.  Some of us, myself included, took the 40 foot plunge into the water! Awesome! I was feeling so confident afterwards, I braved-up and did a backflip off the 12 footer with a large crowd watching, and was very proud of myself;) One of the more interesting things I discovered about cliff jumping is that when I hit the water a nice shot of seawater blasts its way into my nose and further on into my sinuses. Even hours later I can lean over perhaps to pick something up, and drip drip, the seawater, by the wonderful force we call gravity, emerges once again. It's kind of a cool sensation...haha. The evening ended at a local bar where Ryan, who proudly played his Guns 'n' Roses cd, which I personally found a little annoying. Apologies to Axel Rose.

After a restless second night under the stars, I arose early enough to make it to the "BK Lounge" for another cup of coffee and an egg 'n' cheese croissant. Gotta have some food in my belly before a scuba dive! The waves were a bit choppy today, which made getting in and out a little tricky. Saw many bright sponges and a plethora of smaller fishes, but again no dolphins, sharks, or barracudas. I controlled my breathing much better on this dive, and after our short 32 minute dive I still had 1200 psi in my tank. We had to cut the dive a little short because my buddy Jason sucked up all his 2600 psi in 32 minutes! It's all good buddy. I was glad to come out with ya on your refresher dive. 

After lunch it was time to say goodbye to the bunch as we all headed off in different directions, and dispersed across the island back to our respective sites. It's always a little depressing getting into a taxi all alone and trekking back home after such a fabulous weekend. That feeling all goes away when I step back into my humble little place, and fall on my bed with an exhausted, but big smile on my face. I love this place. I still hate mosquitoes though.....just for the record. 

thanks to:
Tami for the mashed potatoes
Grace for the cobbler
Cecilia for the green bean casserole 
Jason Candido for the champagne
Jason Cunningham for the roasted yams
Shanna for the stuffing and pumpkin pie
Brian and Yvonne for the turkey and hosting us
Ryan for the Oreo cakesters...haha
Jess for the yummy veggie gravy
Jessica for the real mac and cheese
and to everyone else who cooked food i ate that i have forgotten! 

"Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die, so let us all be thankful."                           ~Buddha

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

WANTED: DEAD ROOSTER-$5000 Jamaican Dollar Reward


Look into the eye of this filthy fucking creature, and tell me it's not evil. At 4:04 a.m. I am once again woken up to the sound of his "cocka doodle god damned doo." (Sorry, I stole that from the film Young Guns). At 4:46 a.m. I exit my room into the darkness and find a long stick leaning up against the side of the house. I tiptoe out and begin violently jabbing it into the shrub where he usually hides out, but to no avail. He's moved into the tree right outside my window. I'm barefoot and step into a deep puddle of mud and cuss. I give up, go back to bed, this time with ear plugs. No good. My earplugs are no match for his call. 5:07 a.m. I figure I will go running since I am up, but after peeking down the street it looks dark, scary, and ominous. I imagine getting robbed down by the fisherman village which I was warned to stay away from when I arrived in Falmouth. Back to bed. More "cocka doodle god damned doo". 5:31 a.m. I am back outside with my stick blindly poking into this tree behind my window. I nearly slip backwards, but I'm determined to murder this bird. He must sense my presence because all is quiet, even when the rooster down the street calls to him. My only chances are to finesse my way through the barbed wire above the wall and climb the tree, but I can just see a neighbor's reaction seeing some crazy white boy in a tree in the wee hours of the morning. The sun's first rays will be here soon, and I decide to articulate my plan of attack for another day. 5:49 a.m. I am back in my room and have given up.......for now. His days are numbered, I assure you that. I will dispose of this beast. Mark my words. 

Saturday, November 1, 2008

4 MONTHS!

Friends, rodents, quadrupeds.........lend me your ears!

Today is my 4 month mark since arriving in Jamaica on July 1, 2008! And 22 months remaining in my service, should I be lucky enough to make it that far. One day at a time.

Happy belated Halloween to you all. I was a little disappointed that I was unable to carve a pumpkin this year. Every year I carve a pumpkin I am reminded how important it is to not necessarily be young, but to feel young. Carving pumpkins always makes me feel like a kid again. This year I made dinner plans with Kelly, another Volunteer who works out of Lucea, Jamaica. All week it had been threatening to rain, but nothing significant dropped. That all changed the instant I decided to go to Montego Bay to meet up. My dad calls it the "Kolb curse". All hell broke loose, and it began to rain cats and dogs, as they say. We got COMPLETELY drenched, and were forced to change plans. We made it to a nearby Pizza Hut of all places, and made our way to the dining area looking like something the cat brought in. Needless to say, we got some strange looks from the local Jamaicans. Luckily I am used to making an ass out of myself in public, so no harm done. The next challenge was trying to sit through dinner soaking wet with the A/C blasting. I was shivering, and some of my fingers were getting numb. In spite of the situation, we headed back to the bus park early and departed our separate ways for the evening. By the way, the pizza was absolute bliss, and another lasting Halloween memory made!

News on the homefront in Falmouth:
In the early hours one morning last week a dog managed to finagle his way into the yard and apparently ate both our baby chicks, and the momma hen, Henrietta. The papa rooster, Chanticleer, said "screw this shit, I'm outta here" and jumped ship. Smart fella. So the past few days I could hear his call, as it sounds a bit different than the others nearby. I should know, he wakes me up EVERY morning. Today my host mother managed to track him down nearby in an abandoned lot and coax him back with some feed corn. As annoying as he can be, it's good to have my alarm clock back. Welcome home buddy! Now let's find you another pretty lady friend.

Snorkeling Saturday was no good today. The high winds all week along with the rain made visibility a mere 2 feet or so. Instead I worked on my tan, and chatted with an old local fisherman named Wilson who casually smoked his spliff while explaining the different fish he catches in winter compared to summer. Then we just sat quietly together watching the great expanse of sea before us.

My scuba dive trip to Curacao is canceled, unfortunately. I didn't get leave authorized, and the security manager is doing a site visit to my place that week. Bummer, but life goes on. Looking forward to Ivy and Donnie coming down for Christmas and New Years.

My days at the local school are good and bad, depending on the behavior of the kids. It takes a lot of patience and energy, and I am beginning to think my time may be better served here in the form of one-on-one tutoring. The classroom feels more like babysitting than teaching. I met a woman who is getting her tutoring program up and running again in January, and I have dibs to assist her. So things here are constantly in a state of flux. Sorry, I just really wanted to use that word because it sounds cool. But anyways, it's nice to have the freedom to try new things and do other activities as things change. Life is still sweet on the Jamrock. Well, it's Saturday 8:40 pm, and there's a beer at the Hub up the road with my name on it. So here we part until next time...


"When you realize how perfect everything is you will tilt your head back and laugh at the sky."
-Buddha

p.s. there's nothing perfect about mosquitoes. I still despise them.