2 brothers, 2 Holidays, and 2 disappointed Jamaicans

Well folks, I survived my first Christmas and New Year celebration in Jamaica. You don't expect to see much of a Christmas when you are outside of our cozy lil' bubble we call the United States, but in fact Jamaica is a Christian dominated society. The spirit was very much alive here in Falmouth, minus the cold weather and snow of course. There are actually more churches per capita in Jamaica than anywhere in the world. Contradictory to that fact, they also claim the second highest murder rate per capita, followed by South Africa I believe. Nevertheless, my brother and I get through the two holidays with only 2 minor incidents. 

After some sketchy snow delays in the motherland, Donnie arrives at the Montego Bay airport unscathed and in high spirits. We juke the tourist trap outside arrivals, and trek to the nearby highway for local rates back to Falmouth instead of shelling out the $14 USD. I love not being a naive tourist;) Tom, another Peace Corps volunteer in the local area, meets up with us in Falmouth where we proceed to the nonsense and craziness of the Grand Market. Donnie comments on the huge speakers in the street facing each other, which he claims doesn't seem to make a whole lot of sense. I explain that this is Jamaica, and things are 'different' here. We stock up on all the necessities and accoutrements for our Christmas dinner, taking time to get a fresh cut orange, a giant Jamaican avocado, and 2 large grapefruit. My host mother has told me on numerous occasions how the cooking gas tends to run out in the middle of Sunday dinner, so I jokingly mention how the gas is going to run out on Christmas day. Unknowingly, we use the last of the gas for popcorn while watching a terrible Jamaican gangster film. I wake up Christmas day to my host mother Anne who is frantically trying to get the stove lit. GAS EMPTY on Christmas day, just as predicted! Perhaps I jinxed us by mentioning it the day prior, but I refute any and all accusations. In my 31 year quest for wisdom and patience, I decide that getting upset is wasted energy. Since my food stocks are on the fritz, aside from the Christmas dinner food, I decide to embrace the idea of peanut butter sandwiches for our fancy dinner. But then, just when all hope seems to be lost, a Festivus miracle!! Anne calls her Jamaican friend to inform her of the canceled dinner, but it turns out that her neighbor is a gas man. Within 30 minutes two frail gentlemen in their 50's come rolling in a fresh cylinder of gas! Christmas dinner is saved! Even Tom's pride and joy, two pumpkin pies, turn out to near perfection. No cool whip though:(

Donnie and I hitch taxi rides on the 26th down to the unspoiled and non-touristy south island area of Treasure Beach. We kill two days body surfing big rollers, drinking Q and Tings, and eating Lobster dinner before heading north and west to Negril. Here is where we encounter our first incident. Catching taxis on Sundays can be tough, but I manage to wrangle one down in Black River who says he can take us up the coast to Sav La Mar for $500 Jamaican dollars. Seems like a good deal to me, especially as I realize how great the distance. So when we arrive and I give him the 500 dollars, he looks at us like we are a bunch of idiots (which we are in his eyes). He claims that we owe him $5000 Jamaican dollars (which is like 60USD). I calmly begin to explain that he did say $500JD, and that nobody in their right mind would pay $60US dollars for that ride. Then to my surprise, Donnie busts in with his lawyer assertiveness and loudly tells the man that he did hear him agree to $500JD, even as I asked him if he was sure it was $500JD for both of us. The argument ensues, and voices raise. I notice a few standers-by aroused by the commotion. I tell the guy we can give him $1000JD, which is enough to fill his tank up, and that he's getting no more. I clip the one grand bill under is window wiper, and tell him I'm leaving. He insists that he's going to get the police involved. Meanwhile Donnie is still lacing into this poor guy. My heart is racing, but I'm holding my ground. I tell him that we both know the Police aren't going to do a thing, so we literally walk away leaving him obviously very pissed off. I never look back because I don't want to know if I about to get a machete to my back! We hop into a Negril taxi, leaving it all behind and nervously smiling about the whole situation. Welcome to Jamaica Donnie. 

A day and a half in beautiful Negril spent snorkeling, cliff jumping, and chillin out with a few other Peace Corps volunteers. More drama is right around the corner! We get packed into a mini bus like sardines, and most are dozing as the sun fades beneath the Caribbean Sea on the western horizon. I jolt awake to the sound of a big thud, followed by a vibration in the floorboards under my feet. Apparently the driver gave some poor canine a sooner-than-expected ticket to doggie heaven. I found it entertaining that the Jamaican teenager next to me turns to me and says, "That dog be dead, man." It gets better. As Donnie and I are walking from the bus park in Montego Bay up the street to the Falmouth taxis, we just happen to walk past a young man hobbling along with the use of crutches. Its dark by now, and for someone new to the area, could be a little spooky. Luckily, I'm familiar with these haunts. So the guy on crutches says something to get our attention. I try not to be rude, and talk to everyone. He says he's a "ghetto kid, and has no money". I normally don't give my money away, seeing that I'm a poor volunteer, but decide that I have a few small coins burning a hole in my pocket. Besides, it's the holidays. Literally just as I'm about to pull out some coins, he pulls out a rusty knife about 5 inches long. He is kinda mumbling and asks me if I know that everyone in Jamaica carries a blade. I insist that I know this fact, not feeling scared or threatened at all. He proceeds to tell us, "We don't want any trouble, do we?" Then he points across the street and says, "That Rasta man across the street has my back if you don't believe me, and we don't want any trouble." Donnie and I look, and its obvious he has no partner in this scheme. He insists that he doesn't want any trouble, and that money will avoid any of the such. I seriously just say, "No, I'm not giving you any money", turn my back to him and walk away, hoping Donnie follows my lead! Again, I don't look back to see if I'm about to be juked, feeling confident that a man on crutches won't prove to be a serious threat. Donnie and I kinda nervously chuckle again wondering if that really happened. You wonder what you're gonna do in a situation like that, and well, we just walked away and laughed. hehe. Gotta love Jamaica! It's actually a little sad because all the guy wanted was some money, and he saw an opportunity. Any other tourist would have more than likely freeked out, and thrown a wad of money at him. 

Back in Falmouth, Donnie and I head to Windsor Caves to meet Dango, our guide. He takes us on a dark, damp, but thrilling tour into the earth and into the bats' world. Then on to Time and Place Beach Bar, where if you've got the time, Tony has the place! New Years Eve party in Falmouth, with a nice variety of Peace Corps volunteers from around the island, kept us entertained for the night. Much better than last year when I fell asleep on the couch in my apartment, and woke up to the fireworks exploding in the Albuquerque sky. It gave some of the volunteers a sneak peek into the wacky world of the Kolb family! Good thing Sam didn't show up too because it gets exponentially worse the more Kolbs together at the same time. I even wore red boxers because I read in a Jamaican newspaper that red boxers on New Years eve will bring new love in 2009. The first day of 2009 also marks 6 months for me in Jamaica. I found myself proud that I've come this far, but still a little apprehensive about the 20 months ahead. I'm happy school comes back to life on Monday, as I have missed the kids of grade 7. 

2008 proved to be an amazing year for me. I achieved some personal enlightenment, graduated from college, conquered my fear of public speaking, served 6 successful months as a Peace Corps Volunteer, acquired some new and amazing friends, and much, much more. Thanks to you all for your support along the way. I wouldn't be where I am today if it weren't for you all. May 2009 bring you happiness and prosperity! Godspeed! 

"Conquest breeds hatred, for the conquered live in sorrow. Let us be neither conquerer or conquered, and live in peace and joy."   ~The Buddha