Look into the eye of this filthy fucking creature, and tell me it's not evil. At 4:04 a.m. I am once again woken up to the sound of his "cocka doodle god damned doo." (Sorry, I stole that from the film Young Guns). At 4:46 a.m. I exit my room into the darkness and find a long stick leaning up against the side of the house. I tiptoe out and begin violently jabbing it into the shrub where he usually hides out, but to no avail. He's moved into the tree right outside my window. I'm barefoot and step into a deep puddle of mud and cuss. I give up, go back to bed, this time with ear plugs. No good. My earplugs are no match for his call. 5:07 a.m. I figure I will go running since I am up, but after peeking down the street it looks dark, scary, and ominous. I imagine getting robbed down by the fisherman village which I was warned to stay away from when I arrived in Falmouth. Back to bed. More "cocka doodle god damned doo". 5:31 a.m. I am back outside with my stick blindly poking into this tree behind my window. I nearly slip backwards, but I'm determined to murder this bird. He must sense my presence because all is quiet, even when the rooster down the street calls to him. My only chances are to finesse my way through the barbed wire above the wall and climb the tree, but I can just see a neighbor's reaction seeing some crazy white boy in a tree in the wee hours of the morning. The sun's first rays will be here soon, and I decide to articulate my plan of attack for another day. 5:49 a.m. I am back in my room and have given up.......for now. His days are numbered, I assure you that. I will dispose of this beast. Mark my words.
3 comments:
A hen is the solution to your problem. Maybe you could act like a hen, and once you have the rooster in your sites, you can catch him. Godspeed, Andy.
This is the greatest mental picture I have of you yet. What a fantastic turn of events. I say you get a blow gun and silently wait then BAM!!! Dinner. And yes Godspeed my frind. HAHAHAHA!!!!!
You and your cock issues.
Post a Comment